sports

DIAGNOSIS: THE RUNS

Dear Pun Gents, we are on a tough mudder team at Lake Tahoe. We are a bunch of military medical personnel from Oregon who like to drink beer and have a good time. We aren’t able to agree on team name (I said blood, sweat and beers but that was vetoed). I would like  something clever, cheeky, slightly vulgar–but no swear words (my mom is on the team). ~Rachael, Klamath Falls, OR

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Trouble Brewing
  2. Medevacuating bowels
  3. Iron OR
  4. The OreGoners
  5. Diagnosis: The Runs
  6. Mighty Morphine Power Rangers
  7. Beer and Gloating near Las Vegas
  8. Mediculous
  9. Mudderly Love
  10. Tahoes of the Town
  11. Obstacular Shleptacular

 

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RENO-OVATION

Dear Pun Gents, I and 11 of my friends are running in a 178-mile relay race, the Reno Tahoe Odyssey. Most of us are structural engineers with a few other professions thrown in the mix (accountant, physical therapist, server etc). We ran this race last year under the name “Team Honey Badger: because we don’t give a sh!t.” however that name must go. We enjoy drinking, having a good time and running of course. Also, this year we have an international teammate coming in from New Zealand.  ~Matthew, Nevada

AS THE PUN GENTS

  1. Reno-Ovation
  2. Odyssissies
  3. Smilers
  4. Destructuralists
  5. Busting out of the Joints
  6. Knee Joint Venture
  7. Runnilingus
  8. Tahosana
  9. Kiwi to Win
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OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE

Dear Pun Gents, I’m joining my husband’s fantasy football league. I’m the first female to join. They consider themselves a “competitive league with serious players”, but I intend to bust their balls all season. But first, I need a team name that’ll break the “boys only” ice, something hilarious with lots of “new girl” wit. Sexually explicit? Well of course! Thanks! ~Crystal, San Diego, CA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Scoring All Night
  2. Kicking Your Balls
  3. Out of Your League
  4. Don’t Touch Down There
  5. Clash of the Tight Ends
  6. Bringing Slotty Back
  7. Ballroom Blitz
  8. Say My Namath
  9. Ass Interference
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WRESTLENAMIA

Dear Pun Gents, I am a professional wrestler. My name is “Gorgeous” Greg Romero, and my tag team partner is named “Cold-Hearted” Corey Phillips. We need a tag team name that fits our sunglass, leather-vest clad, flamboyant bad boy personas. Please help! ~Greg, Las Vegas, NV

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Flamboyas
  2. Oakley Bros
  3. Leather Report
  4. Shrieking Violets
  5. The Broman Empire
  6. Punktoberfest
  7. Tagalicious
  8. Biceptennial
  9. The Abdominal Showmen
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BATON DOWN THE HATCHBACKS

Dear Pun Gents, We are running a big relay race. We will have two vans, and would like to have a name for each van that goes together. One van has guys, one has the gals. We are from Silverton, so would like something with Silver, but doesn’t have to be. The hosts love Star Wars. Thank you. ~Amanda, Silverton, OR

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

Some Star Wars-related suggestions

  1. Blue leader/red leader (not puns)
  2. Yodaman! + YodaLadyhoos
  3. Girls van: The Gal-lack-dick Empire + Boys van: The JarJar Dinks, or The Hand Solos
  4. Obi Van Kenobi + Jabba the Hatchback
  5. The Hard to Detours
  6. Anakin Goes
  7. The Lando Rovers
  8. Vanakins Skywalker
  9. The Death Cars

    Silver-related suggestions

  10. Silverton is the new gold
  11. Team Ag47
  12. You’ve Got the Silver
  13. The Silverados
  14. Silversun Pickup Trucks
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UNDERSTAND YOUR FAN

Dear Pun Gents, I need a title for a weekly column which would be like a ‘sports cheat sheet’ feature for female readers who have husbands, boyfriends and significant others who are sports fanatics–all with the aim to help women join in the conversation in a fun, quirky way. It would be written from an entertainment/gossip angle so that it appeals to women. It would also help explain sports terms in funny, clever ways. Can you please help? Thank you! ~Kelli, New York City

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. The Fandominatrix
  2. Girls With Balls
  3. S&M: Sports and Men
  4. MSM: Men, Sports, Meaning
  5. The MenZone
  6. The Jersey Girl [ ie sports jerseys]
  7. Understand Your Fan
  8. [PS – thanks for the donation!]
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BOWLING GREEN

Dear Pun Gents, I need a name for a bowling team. The event is St. Patrick’s Day and our team works for a power/electric utility. ~Tricia, Sanford, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Lucky Strikes
  2. Leprechauntract Demand
  3. Thunderballs
  4. Power Alleys
  5. Electric Buzzards
  6. Power Delivery
  7. Noah’s Arcs
  8. Fuse to Lose
  9. Hertz So Good
  10. The Family Joules
  11. Lightning Strikes
  12. Natural Monopoly
  13. Spare Power
  14. Split Circuits
  15. Circuits du Solar [Cirque du Soleil]
  16. Thanks for the donation!
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QUEENS OF THE COSMO’S

Dear Pun Gents, we’re a group of nine women who love to drink are headed to Las Vegas for the half-marathon the first week of December 2011.  We need a clever name for our team shirts.  Please help!  ~Katharine, San Antonio, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Martini Boppers
  2. A Stirred in the Hand
  3. 13-Miley Cyruses
  4. 13 Miles, 26 Oz
  5. Mango Lasses
  6. Queens of the Cosmo’s
  7. Boozundeit
  8. Laps and Relapse
  9. Kahlualass
  10. Tequila Stocking Birds
  11. Running on Empties
  12. Raising the Bartender
  13. Talk the Detox
  14. Tavern and Shirleys
  15. Beers are not Enough
  16. Desert Heat
  17. Jet Legged
  18. Stride Me
  19. The Vodkouple (if there were two of you)
  20. Distill my Heart
  21. PS thanks for the donation!
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LEX AND THE CITY

Dear Pun Gents, we have a team of 1 guy and 3 girls in the Lexington 5K Urbanathlon. Need something clever and funny – know you can help! ~Nick, Lexington, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Lex and the City
  2. One Nick, Three Chicks, Five Clicks
  3. Run D-SC
  4. Roger Urbanister [Roger Bannister = 1st man to run a 4-minute mile]
  5. Obstacular Spectacular
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DHARMA CEUTICAL

Dear Pun Gents, I need a roller derby name. Something to do with toxicology and drugs. ~Gail, Perth, Scotland

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Dharma Ceutical
  2. Poison P Illsa
  3. Toxanne
  4. ODessa
  5. Elsa D
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