What’s a mobster’s favourite cheese? Massacrecapone
My ex-girlfriend got Ebola. What a dirty fluidsy.
How would Alien Spider Trump rule? A: By eggsackutive order.
The strict elementary school principal suspended any student who came down with laryngitis. He did not approve of hoarseplay.
Sir Isaac Newton, upon watching a large crowd of peasants pointlessly measure the duration of a speech about wheel rods, announced with ridicule – “mass-timed axel oration equals farce!”
How can you spot an illegal immigrant? By their deportment.
Studying quantum physics is so mysterious the physicists are like a religious brotherhood; in fact they must take a vow of science.
Who was Genghis Khan’s favourite Disco artist? The Killage People.
Careful how you slice up that wild game carcass: You don’t want to make a big moose steak!

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