ALL THAT YOU ARRGH

Dear Pun Gents, my boyfriend loves puns. I want to show him how clever *I* can  be on Valentine’s Day. I need a pun that will blow him away. He is studying physics and computer science. And ever since he was a little boy he has wanted to be a pirate. HELP!? ~Anna, Boston

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. I hope to give you ‘Max Planck’ on Valentine’s Day
  2. How does a pirate measure the area of a circle? Pi arrgh squared.
  3. OOP I did it again.
  4. Compared to you, everyone else is barely a C+
  5. You never Bohr me.
  6. I could go for a jolly rogering
  7. BONUS – Why was Blackbeard upset when he had to go to the bathroom? Because a pirate without p is irate.
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THEM’S FIVE-PIN WORDS

Dear Pun Gents, we’re starting a charity bowling league that supports breast cancer. It’s a four man team and we are struggling to find a name. Any ideas? ~Thomas, Conroe, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Spare our Breasts
  2. Balls for Breasts
  3. Pin Down Girls
  4. Strike Out Breast Cancer
  5. Alley McBalls
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BOTTLEY HARM

Dear Pun Gents, I need a team name that has something to do with wine. Our colors are red and white, hence the wine idea. It’s for work, so it needs to be clean-ish. ~Frances, Charleston, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Riesling to the Challenge
  2. The All Time Grapes
  3. Barrelly Alive
  4. In It to Wine It
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ASHTANGA IN PARIS

Dear Pun Gents, a pun about yoga. ~Christina, Wayne, NJ

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Welcome Om
  2. The Love Chakra
  3. Hell Hatha No Fury
  4. Dude, Where’s My Karma?
  5. Man to Mantra
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YOU AND WHOSE RNA?

Dear Pun Gents, I would also (please!) like a roller derby name for myself. I’d like a powerful/mean one that pertains to DNA (I’m a DNA analyst). Thank you! ~Kiersten, Orlando, FL

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Mean Jean
  2. Helix on Wheels
  3. Shelix
  4. Broken Ribos
  5. DNA, Princess of Wails
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HOUSE MUSIC

Dear Pun Gents, We are forming a curling team with a bunch of fun folks. One of the team names is ‘We Swept With Your Wife.’ There are girls and boys and a lot of music lovers. But I’m not a fan of ‘Rolling Stones’ as a name. We often refer to people as savages and could use that in the name. ~Heather, Saint John, NB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Bonspiel Jovi
  2. BRush
  3. Curler me Badd
  4. Die! Mannequins
  5. Turn Around Bright Ice
  6. Rink Ho Starrs
  7. Broom Broom Pow
  8. Baby Got Tap Back
  9. Big Wrecked Shot
  10. Savagenesis
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