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Month: September 2019

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09/30/2019

Is Water a threat to global security? A: No, but Ice IS

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags isis, terrorism, waterLeave a comment
09/30/2019

World War II military parades tended to marchin’ allies the participants.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags military, parades, war, world war twoLeave a comment
09/30/2019

Colon cleansing is expensive. If you do it often, you’ll end up in the poo-er hose.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags money, poo jokesLeave a comment
09/29/2019

Furniture repo men have a come for table existence.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (4 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags furniture, occupations, randomLeave a comment
09/29/2019

Activists are protesting in the North Pole against Santa Claus. Specifically, his use of reindeer as sleigh labour.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags holidays, santa, social justice1 Comment
09/28/2019

I didn’t want to fetch a sandwich for my boss, but I was forced into sub mission.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (13 votes, average: 4.38 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags food and drink, the workplace3 Comments
09/28/2019

They certainly enjoy their pig rodeos, in Buckingham Palace.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (Rate This Pun)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags animalsLeave a comment
09/27/2019

What is the cur rent price to lease a dog?

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags animals, dogs1 Comment
09/26/2019

Delusions of obesity? You might be a hippochondriac.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags fat jokes, hippos, obesity, psychological disordersLeave a comment
09/26/2019

My calculus teacher is hot. She derives me wild.

TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Categories Pun of the DayTags calculus, math, teachersLeave a comment
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Pun Archive

Best Puns (so far)

  • Best of @pungents #CanadianAct... 14 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 514 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • Are you crooked? Don’t make me... 10 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • The tiniest scientists have us... 10 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
  • Frightened bovines act cow her... 60 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 560 votes, average: 4.95 out of 5 (4.95 out of 5)
  • Be a lumberjack. Saw the world... 12 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 512 votes, average: 4.92 out of 5 (4.92 out of 5)
  • Cowboys don’t roll joints. The... 20 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 520 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • A famous composer was also a c... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • Boo-merang: when you angrily s... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • During my time as an execution... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • I get upset about Asian canine... 10 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 510 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5 (4.90 out of 5)
  • My sister is marrying an organ... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
  • Whenever I leave the country p... 9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 59 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5 (4.89 out of 5)
  • Cannibalism is tough. It’s Dou... 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
  • JOURNAL OF APPLED SCIENCE 8 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 58 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (4.88 out of 5)
  • How do epic poets hijack a shi... 15 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 515 votes, average: 4.87 out of 5 (4.87 out of 5)
  • Which Transformers had fake br... 12 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 512 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5 (4.83 out of 5)
  • Whenever I see five toes, I kn... 14 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 514 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5 (4.79 out of 5)
  • Sleep? There’s a nap for that. 18 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 518 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Which branch of science is ded... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Predicting the wind is a vane ... 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Wherewolves are endangered. 9 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 59 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5 (4.78 out of 5)
  • Before proving his own existen... 40 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 540 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Nietzsche joined Facebook, and... 16 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 516 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Most newspaper editors have ty... 12 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 512 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Best of #KennethColeTweets by ... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Most people can’t write poetry... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • A husband was accused by his w... 8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 58 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5 (4.75 out of 5)
  • Which toy company believes in ... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • I’m good at solving labyrinths... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Call me scent o’ mental, but w... 15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 515 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Rubbing up against strangers i... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • The favourite music of menstru... 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Thoreau bred horses. 11 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 511 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5 (4.73 out of 5)
  • Bedouin nomads are known for t... 28 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 528 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • Bicyclists are always pedallin... 14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 514 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • To use algebra to determine th... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • I’m an expert on Fascist Italy... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • If Jesus had weighed 450 pound... 7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 57 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5 (4.71 out of 5)
  • I woke up beside an elephant. ... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • I’m forming a Kindergarten Met... 10 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 510 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5 (4.70 out of 5)
  • Poor typists are rather un qwe... 16 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 516 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5 (4.69 out of 5)
  • Jesus told a lot of stories ab... 18 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 518 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • The birth-control pill is no g... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • I met a cannibal in Mongolia. ... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Which celebrity microwaves his... 15 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 515 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • A defibullator saves lies. 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Is Rowan Atkinson’s career ove... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • The government bill to ban alc... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • I got a bad haircut in Stockho... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
  • Austria started WWI because it... 9 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 59 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5 (4.67 out of 5)
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