KATATONIA

Dear Pun Gents, I am giving a talk at a university scholarship luncheon. There will be two speakers before me, one named Katia, and the other named Katherine. I am trying to come up with some sort of funny comment at the beginning of my presentation that includes a pun about the abundance of Kathrine/Katia/Katherine, or possibly the fact that there will be 3 speakers at this event whose names start with “Kat” (something like “It’s a veritable Kat-valanche” but better). I’ve fallen flat. Could you help me out? ~Kathrine, Salt Lake City, UT
AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:
  1. This many K’s in a row usually gets you arrested. Except in South Carolina!
  2. It’s a Katastrophe!
  3. If you had let us all speak at once we might have got Katty.
  4. I hope by the time I’m finished you won’t be Katatonic.
  5. If your name doesn’t start with K you’re just not Kat out for this luncheon.
  6. I saw a Kat burglar outside- he was K-sing the joint!
  7. I wasn’t expecting so much Kat-calling today.
  8. This lunch just shows that Kats like to have funds!
  9. Are they serving Kat food at this luncheon? Because I’m feline hungry.
  10. After those last two speakers, I’m speechless. Kat got your tongue?
TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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MICHELLE ON WHEELS

Dear Pun Gents,
I am new to roller derby, and 46 years old. Need a badass derby name. I love the gym (weight train), medieval dragons and fairies. I love Marvel and DC comics (Harley Quinn being a favorite villainess). I also ride a Harley of my own. ~Michelle, Casa Grande

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Michelle on Wheels
  2. Michelle Razor (hell raiser )
  3. Michelle O Bomba
  4. Dawn Genie and Dragons
  5. Play Fairie
  6. Aunt Gymima
  7. AC DC Comics
  8. Lois Villain (Lois Lane)
  9. Bruce Payne (Bruce Wayne)
  10. Harley Riser
TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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BEVERLEY BONECRUSHER

Dear Pun Gents,

I really need a Roller Derby name ASAP. I’m new to derby. Anything to do with my name is cool or just something clever. I’m super into Star Wars/Trek/LOTR and reading. I’m a barista on the side and play ultimate frisbee too. ~Kim Waybright, Charleston, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Millenium Falc Kim
  2. LOTR REY
  3. Falcon Dangerous
  4. Rey Anna
  5. AKimbo
  6. The Way Kim Dead
  7. Reyzor
  8. Darth Waybright
  9. The Cutest of Borg
  10. Menage a Troi
  11. Kim Il Skate
  12. Sauron Grapes
  13. Beverley BoneCrusher
  14. Wins A Latte
TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
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