Some of those pedophile priests must have misunderstood the pope’s orders: anul sects.

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The pope has inflamed a lot of turbaned followers of Guru Nanak with his latest encyclical. In fact it’s so dangerous they’re referring to it as a Sikh-heating missal.

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NED: I cut my leg. It’s bleeding.
ED: Quick, get a bandage.
NED: I can’t. I don’t believe in gauze.
ED: Huh?
NED: It’s true. I am ragnostic.

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NED: Did you hear, I’ve become a Scientologist?
ED: No way. You’re nuts.
NED: I really did. It’s Xenu-ist craze!
ED: Well I don’t believe in that nonsense.
NED: Bah. Get behind me, Thetan!

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