TOTAL BULLONEY

Dear Pun Gents, anti-bullying awareness is coming up in our hospital and we’re looking for a good slogan to put on a pink t-shirt. Any ideas would be sooooo appreciated! ~Helen, Parry Sound, ON

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. This is a tease hurt
  2. I like intimate dating, not intimidating.
  3. This is not a bully market
  4. Sorry, I’m just not following the threat?
  5. I’ve [literally] got something on my chest – back off bullies
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THE ANSWER, MY FRIENDS…

Dear Pun Gents, we’re a trivia team needing a new name for the season. We are pretty good but awful at the music round. We are trying to incorporate a music theme this time. ~Kat, Winnipeg, MB

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. She Drives Me Quizzy
  2. The Answer, My Friends, is Blowin’ in the Wind
  3. Ain’t No Party Like a JE-O-Pardy!
  4. Trebek in the Saddle
  5. The Who (What Where When How)
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TIE THE KNIT

Dear Pun Gents, I’m writing a feature about knitted royal weddings (William and Kate Middleton). I need a short pun that incorporates knitting, weddings and royalty! ~Elaine, Colchester, UK

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Windsors tie the knit
  2. Such a needles expense!
  3. Not a crochety couple
  4. We’re all for gauge marriage
  5. All eyes will be swatching
  6. Kate seems comfortable in her skein.
TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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CONSUMERRHAGE

Dear Pun Gents, I need a good name for a shopping addiction support group. Thank you for any help you can provide! ~Belinda, Toronto

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. The Cause-mall-ogists
  2. Buyer Straits
  3. The Visa Squad
  4. The Shopping Bloc
  5. The Paypal See
  6. Buy-cycle Cops
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YOU’RE SUCH A GREAT POISON

Dear Pun Gents, I need a good Valentine’s pun that has to do with spiders. Something original (nothing about a love bug please!) and punny. And nothing that says ‘I love you’ in it. Thanks. ~Tori, Seattle, WA

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Happy Venomtine’s Day – You’re such a wonderful poison
  2. Can you believe we met on the web?
  3. [Black widow to mate]: I met my last husband on the web
  4. When I saw your legs – I eight them up
  5. How time flies [fly stuck on spiderweb]
  6. Weave come a long way.
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ALL THAT YOU ARRGH

Dear Pun Gents, my boyfriend loves puns. I want to show him how clever *I* can  be on Valentine’s Day. I need a pun that will blow him away. He is studying physics and computer science. And ever since he was a little boy he has wanted to be a pirate. HELP!? ~Anna, Boston

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. I hope to give you ‘Max Planck’ on Valentine’s Day
  2. How does a pirate measure the area of a circle? Pi arrgh squared.
  3. OOP I did it again.
  4. Compared to you, everyone else is barely a C+
  5. You never Bohr me.
  6. I could go for a jolly rogering
  7. BONUS – Why was Blackbeard upset when he had to go to the bathroom? Because a pirate without p is irate.
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THEM’S FIVE-PIN WORDS

Dear Pun Gents, we’re starting a charity bowling league that supports breast cancer. It’s a four man team and we are struggling to find a name. Any ideas? ~Thomas, Conroe, TX

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Spare our Breasts
  2. Balls for Breasts
  3. Pin Down Girls
  4. Strike Out Breast Cancer
  5. Alley McBalls
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BOTTLEY HARM

Dear Pun Gents, I need a team name that has something to do with wine. Our colors are red and white, hence the wine idea. It’s for work, so it needs to be clean-ish. ~Frances, Charleston, SC

AS THE PUN GENTS SEE IT:

  1. Riesling to the Challenge
  2. The All Time Grapes
  3. Barrelly Alive
  4. In It to Wine It
TerriblePretty BadOKPretty GoodHilarious (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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