Just because I kissed an Irishman doesn’t make me Gaelic.
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Militarization. Now that’s all arming.
I hate Twitter. It’s so meme-spirited.
You know you’ve won a polygamist’s heart when he says the magic words, “I love few.”
Don’t go out when it’s raining spiders. You risk getting caught in a tarantula downpour.
Entomologists love tornadoes. It’s a perfect occasion to see a house fly.
Give her a diamond after a fight. It’s the best piece of a ring.
Hell is on strike. The workers are demon strating.
I told a few jokes in my shower. Nobody laughed. I said “Man, tough grout.”
Pirate jokes? Now there’s Avast! conspiracy, though it’s Argh to believe.


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