If you get feline poop as a present, your birthday is officially a cat ass trophy.
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What’s the fastest fast food? A: Lamb-burger-inis.
When the President of the Chickens commands the hens to increase output, it’s an eggs excretive order.
Undead insects? Some bees don’t want to bite you, but zombies do.
If you see a heavy woman, tell her she’s light, because that’s how you treat LED.
I’m addicted to seaweed. I must… seek kelp.
I love me some drunken Germans. Buzzed Franzs forever!
By providing infrastructure to future generations, sidewalk installers are all about paving it floorward.
I stuck my leg in an air duct. It’s my most recent in-vent shin.
Fire your fathers! It’s a Can a Dad Day.


